Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
