Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
