No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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