Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
