Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
