ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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