While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
