He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The feeling are messing with the penis
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
