sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
