you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
