I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
