Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
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