i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
