Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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