I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
