Already got asked if we're dating
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
