I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
