I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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