When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i think i have two assholes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
