ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
