summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
