Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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