well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize