i barfeds in our rink
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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