Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
