I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
