whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize