super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
