Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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