Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just googled if crying burns calories
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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