Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think weed is turning my hair brown
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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