I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
