Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
nutella sex= disaster
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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