Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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