if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
