dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You are a genius and a whore.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
