Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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