Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
