I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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