do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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