wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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