Having a random hookup so left but love u
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
