I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there's paper in my vomit.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
