glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
