Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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