whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
