I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize