Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
