Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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