we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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