haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize