I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize