is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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