So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
