My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
