Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
