So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize