I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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