hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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