let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize