yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
