wanna go halves on a baby?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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