Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
