I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
