I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize