Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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