I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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