no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
